Today, I had Kokoroyajuku-Open Counseling.
Open Counseling is for a donation.
There were 5 people in the counseling.
They had their own themes to talk,
the underlying theme of the whole counseling was
There are many people who can't love themselves.
I was one of them.
I may still be one of them.
Today I thought
To love myself completely is to love myself unconditionally.
And I wondered
how many of us can love ourselves unconditionally.
I learned colour therapy and
I learned the word "unconditional love".
And I witnessed the unconditional love occasionally
for children or spouses.
It's rare to see those who love themselves unconditionally.
People, including me, tend to love some parts of ourselves.
I like me who can win the game.
I like me who drives a big car.
I like me who controls the situation completely.
I don't like me who can't get full score in the exam.
I don't like me who are fat.
I don't like me who don't have many friends.
It is like judging us by ourselves.
Many years ago,
I tired not to judge myself
someone said to me,
"Do not judge yourself"
to love myself.
At that time,
when I noticed that I judged myself,
I thought "Oh, I did again" and felt terrible.
"Do not judge" caused another judgement.
So, today I thought
Love myself unconditionally is similar to "not to judge myself"
but totally different.
If I focus on "Do not judge",
I may try to stop some of my habits or behavior.
It is like I am saying that
certain behavior or habits are good
and others are bad.
And it is judgement.
Judgement continues endlessly.
If I focus on the "unconditional" elements,
no matter what I do,
I am loved,
I am good .
Even if I can't get perfect in the exam,
I am OK.
Even if I am fat, I am OK.
Even if I can't control the situation, I am OK.
To say OK to everything is not easy
because we have criteria for good or bad
which related to the judgement.
However, If we become more forgiving for ourselves,
we might be able to love ourselves unconditionally,
and may be able to have fun happy lives.
In order to love yourself,
to be more forgiving and generous for yourself may be the key.